During a chanting class held in Malaysia, she mustered her courage to share…
(the following is Dharma sister Zengji’s meditation journal)
When I was just two years old, I fell and hurt my right leg. As a result, I had an operation done on my right kneecap. However, because the treatment was not properly administered, my right leg became shorter than my left leg. Hence I became badger-legged. Since then, I have difficulty balancing whenever I walk. When my body posture is not proper or straight, I would experience pain in my lumbar vertebra. Therefore, I am not able to kneel down. This problem troubled me for many years. I felt that it was the manifestation of my negative karma.
In this chanting class, I tried to maintain a kneeling position when I was chanting so as to eradicate my negative karma. For more than 60 years, I have not kneeled down. However, this time round, I insisted on kneeling though it brought me excruciating pain. I thought that if I could put up with the pain during chanting class, my negative karma would be eliminated! Hence, I adjusted the padding of my cushions, turned my face towards Medicine Buddha and sincerely chanted in a kneeling position.
I am very surprised to find that I could remain kneeling for 3 out of the 7 hours in the day. When I first started to kneel down, my kneecap was extremely painful. However, on the second day, the pain disappeared. Moreover, after chanting in a kneeling position, the pain in my legs and lumbar vertebra reduced significantly. I am very happy to be able to overcome my body obstacles!
I also experienced a spectacular breakthrough spiritually. In the past, I was prone to impulsive actions. I was not able to think through things calmly. In one of Master’s teachings, he reminded us to calm ourselves down when we are in a state of agitation and to consider our options before acting. In this way, we reduce the likelihood of making wrong decisions by half. I will always remember what Master said and try to abide by his instructions. I always remind myself not to be greedy but instead be grateful and compassionate towards people. At the same time, I will be more active in volunteering so as to help more people.